


We fight together (together)

by Thistley



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Angst, Attempted Blackmail, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Gay Mark Lee, Gay Nakamoto Yuta, Gen, Group as family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meeting the Family, NCT as Family, NCT in Canada, Past Relationships, Pre Mark/Yuta if you strain your eyes, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistley/pseuds/Thistley
Summary: "His bedroom door at the top of the stairs was slightly ajar, proof that someone had entered. Mark nervously pushed it further open and saw two figures sat on his bed looking up at a large pinboard on the wall full of photos and other memorabilia from Mark's teenage years before he moved out. Mark turned nervously to the wall to the left of the door to see his rainbow flag mocking him - the flag he'd completely forgotten was still up until that panic-stricken moment."Or: Mark accidentally comes out to Yuta and Johnny after forgetting to take down some old decorations at his family home bedroom. His ex-boyfriend makes an appearance, but Johnny and Yuta will always be there for him.
Relationships: Mark Lee & NCT, Mark Lee & Suh Youngho | Johnny, Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta, Mark Lee/Original Male Character (past)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 179





	We fight together (together)

**Author's Note:**

> I know Mark was accepted to SM at 13, so let's age shift a little to maybe 14. I don't know. Pretend you don't know the facts.
> 
> As always, these are not representations of the real people whose names and likeness I used.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! I based a lot of the small details (flag, pinboard, the handmade card) on my own experiences.

The main upside of NCT becoming big enough for world tours was - for Mark - being able to visit his family while on tour. His years as a trainee had been full of loneliness and homesickness, isolated in a country where no one spoke his first language and his family were thousands of kilometres away. The loneliness had been abated somewhat by Johnny at first, but he couldn't talk about Canada without a vague shrug and a "I never left America, dude".

Mark found himself and the rest of 127 at his parents' house on stop during their North American tour, their venue in Toronto giving perfect opportunity. He hadn't visited in a while and even his rare holiday appearances were cut short by the long flights to and from Korea. 

His family welcomed the rest of the group with open arms and they all crammed into the house, some people spilling out into the garden. They would only be there for the evening until everyone had to retreat to the hotel (bar Mark who'd been given an exception by their manager with the express catch that he must not be late in the morning) so his parents had decided to make the most of their time getting to know his second family. His mom had been smitten with Taeyong and Haechan immediately, spilling all sorts of embarrassing childhood stories to them. Taeil had immediately conspired with his family for all sorts of knowledge on how to tell when Mark was ill or injured that he'd purposely withheld from their oldest member. 

It'd been about two hours of long overdue socialising before Mark realised that Johnny and Yuta were nowhere to be seen. He did a lap of the lower floor and the garden straining to spot them but with no luck.

"Hey, Mom," he asked in English, pulling her aside from where she had been talking to Jaehyun. "Have you seen Johnny and Yuta?"

She smiled. "They wanted to see your room upstairs, honey."

Mark nodded, momentarily placated. Until, that is, he remembered exactly what state his room was in last time he stayed and he ran to take the stairs two at a time.

His bedroom door at the top of the stairs was slightly ajar, proof that someone had entered. Mark nervously pushed it further open and saw two figures sat on his bed looking up at a large pinboard on the wall full of photos and other memorabilia from Mark's teenage years before he moved out. Mark turned nervously to the wall to the left of the door to see his rainbow flag mocking him - the flag he'd completely forgotten was still up until that panic-stricken moment.

'Shit,' he thought. 'I never took it down.'

He could feel the gazes of Johnny and Yuta on him but kept his gaze fixed on the wall, worrying his lip with his teeth. This wasn't how he wanted this to go down, not at all.

"Mark?" a voice asked. Johnny.

He pushed the door shut to try and limit how many people would hear the inevitable conversation. He finally made eye contact with Johnny only to notice that he was holding something in his hands.

Johnny saw him looking and put the item down as if it had burned him. "We're really sorry, we didn't mean to pry. Your mom said we could look..."

Mark sighed. He wanted to be mad, he really did. But the conversation was a long time coming and he knew it would happen eventually. He moved to sit on the floor beside the bed, back leaning against his old desk. "It's alright," he said. "I should've known this would happen."

He saw Johnny's eyes flicker to the rainbow flag before flicking back to Mark again, a silent question. Yuta was still worryingly silent.

"I know you want to ask," Mark said. "Go on."

Johnny nodded. "Are you gay?"

Despite knowing exactly what Johnny was going to say, Mark still felt old panic rise up. He tried to squash it down. "Yeah. Is that...are we...?" he trailed off, but Johnny seemed to get the gist anyway.

"Of course it's okay, Mark." Johnny moved to sit beside him and threw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him in for an awkward side hug. "I promise."

Mark nodded and hesitantly looked at Yuta, who was still silent. "Yuta-hyung?" he asked quietly. He could feel traitorous tears beginning to brim with each torturous silent moment. 

Yuta seemed to snap out of his daze. He quickly moved to sit in front of Mark and offered him a small but sincere smile. He grabbed his hand and squeezed. "Of course it's okay, Mark." He bit his lip. "Is that why you never told us?"

Mark looked down and let his free hand fiddle with the hem of his jeans. "When I moved to Korea I tried to push myself back in the closet. I wasn't ever planning on coming out, really."

"You were out when you lived here?" Johnny asked.

Mark nodded. "I knew since I was, like, 11. I was out for a while here but realised I couldn't be the same in Korea if I wanted my career to go anywhere. For a while I was worried someone would out me, but it never happened."

He felt another squeeze at his hand. "Is that why you're always so tense when you hear anything about a NCT 127 controversy?"

Mark let his gaze rise again to Yuta. "Yeah. It wouldn't just ruin my career."

"We'd protect you," Johnny blurted from beside him. "If that ever happened, I mean. All of NCT would."

Mark sent him a small smile. "What were you looking at earlier?" he asked, changing the subject slightly.

Johnny moved to retrieve the item and dropped it in Mark's lap. An anniversary card, obviously hand-made. "It's really sweet," he said.

"You had a boyfriend here?" Yuta asked.

Mark nodded silently as he unfolded the card to its full A3 state. It was broken up into 8 panels, 7 of them full of watercolour drawings. "Each of these drawings is a moment that was memorable to him," Mark murmured. He pointed to the first square. "We would hang out at the park in the evenings when all the little kids were at home and talk for hours." The painting showed two figures sitting on a swing set, twilight surrounding them.

"You look happy," Yuta whispered.

"We were," Mark replied. His smile turned into a frown. "He didn't want me to leave."

Johnny made a noise of acknowledgement next to him. 

Mark got up and stood on his bed to retrieve a small envelope stuck near the top of his pinboard and pulled the letter out as he sat down. "He liked being traditional," Mark said. "He wrote this when I told him I was accepted at SM."

He handed the letter to Johnny and Yuta leant over to try and read it too. After a few moments, he gave up. "What does it say?" he asked.

"He's basically saying that it's not fair to himself to lie about his sexuality in Korea," Johnny translated. "And something about leaving him. Something about their future..."

Yuta frowned. "That's not fair. It's not like it was an easy decision to make." He looked at Mark to confirm, who nodded.

"We stayed together for some time even after I left. We'd call and stuff but I was always careful to make sure no one else was around, even though we talked in English, and he didn't like that. He didn't like me talking in Korean to people who passed by, either. Said it made him feel excluded," Mark explained, still holding the letter. "The time difference was rough, too. He had enough eventually, and said it wasn't fair to either of us so we broke up. He just didn't understand what it was like for me. I had to swear him to secrecy about us."

"How'd he take that?" Yuta asked.

Mark laughed but it was without humour. "Not well. He agreed because he didn't want to actually ruin my career, but he said that it was a risk I was going to have to take if I wanted to throw my Canadian life away."

"Jesus," Yuta breathed. "That's a hell of a reaction."

Mark nodded. He looked back up at the pinboard. "I didn't want to leave all this behind but it felt too risky to bring. I didn't want anyone to find it and start asking questions."

Johnny and Yuta followed his gaze. The board was full of photographs, cinema tickets, concert tickets. There were a few gaps where photos of Mark and his other friends had been - he'd taken those ones.

"You're not alone, you know," Yuta suddenly said.

Mark and Johnny turned to face him. "What?" they both said.

Yuta looked away, cheeks colouring slightly. "I'm - I'm gay, too. I haven't known as long as you, but..."

Mark patted him on the shoulder until Yuta met his eyes. He smiled. "It's alright," he said.

He wanted to say more but he was interrupted by the door opening. He felt panic rise up again until he realised it was only his Mom. "Sorry to interrupt but there's someone here to see you." She smiled and moved to push someone through the door.

Mark felt his heart drop. "Jake," he said.

"Mark," Jake replied. His eyes flickered to Johnny and Yuta.

Mark cleared his throat. "Hyungs, this is my ex-boyfriend, Jake," he said in Korean. He saw Jake's expression cloud over. "Jake, these are my bandmates Johnny and Yuta," he finished in English.

Jake nodded at them, still standing in the doorway. "Can we talk?"

Mark bit his lip nervously. 

"Do you want to talk to him?" Johnny murmured beside him in Korean, ready to give him an out.

"Not really," Mark replied. "Okay," he said to Jake immediately after.

"Outside?" Jake asked.

Mark nodded and stood up. "I won't be long," he said to his bandmates, awkwardly following Jake downstairs and through the door to the front garden, which was empty.

"You've done well for yourself," Jake said awkwardly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah," Mark replied dumbly.

"They all your bandmates in there?" he asked, nodding towards the house.

Mark nodded. "We have a show tomorrow and they wanted to properly meet my family."

There were a few moments of silence. "Do they know?" Jake asked.

Mark sighed. "Only Johnny and Yuta," he said truthfully.

"Why?" Jake asked.

Mark felt himself getting angry. "You know why! It's not the same for me, okay? I can't risk it."

Jake scoffed.

"I live and work with these guys almost all day every day. I can't risk making things awkward. And I can't risk anything getting out. It could ruin me and damage NCT as a whole." He felt angry tears spring to his eyes and blinked them away.

"I was going to ask if you want to try again," Jake said musingly. "But it seems you haven't changed."

Mark was taken aback. He blinked at him. "I wouldn't have said yes even if I had changed."

Jake stared at him. He'd definitely grown a lot since Mark had last met him, he realised. His hair was still dark but it was cut in a more mature style, no longer flopping everywhere. His face was much more defined and he now had a few inches on Mark. His skin was still paler than Mark's but he was a little more tan from the Canadian summer.

Mark didn't feel any old feelings rush back.

"Too good for me now, huh?" Jake asked.

Mark didn't know what to say. "We wouldn't work out, Jake. You know this. I don't have feelings for you anymore."

Jake nodded towards the house again. "Is it one of them?"

Mark grit his teeth. "Why can't you just accept that I'm simply not interested anymore? There's nothing else to it." He turned away to leave but was stopped by a hand gripping his arm. "This conversation is over," he bit out.

"No, it isn't," Jake said.

Mark pulled his grip away. "You forget I'm stronger than you now." He took a few steps back. "I'm sorry, Jake. What we had is over. Please don't approach me about it again." Mark walked away but only made it about a metre before Jake's voice called out again.

"You want to think about how you speak to me. I could still tell people."

Mark froze. He felt fear creep up to his chest and envelop him. He turned around slowly. "Please, don't."

Jake seemed pleased at the change in circumstance. "I'll offer you a deal."

Mark narrowed his eyes. "What sort of deal?"

"You give me one goodbye kiss and I'll promise not to tell."

Mark felt his stomach churn with nerves. He could see Jake getting closer to his frozen body. He didn't want to kiss him.

He remained frozen as Jake got closer and closer until there was a gentle hand on his shoulder and someone else pulling Jake back. He stumbled into someone's arms.

"No deal," the person said. Johnny.

Mark snapped back into reality a little to see Yuta pulling Jake back.

"That isn't your decision to make," Jake said.

"I know Mark. He doesn't want to kiss you, or did him saying he isn't interested go over your head? You're going to leave and you won't mention anything about you and Mark to anyone." Johnny's voice was steady and low. Scary.

Jake seemed to shift a little, eyes darting from Johnny to Mark as if weighing up his options. Yuta still had a firm grip on him.

"Why should I?" he said, voice sounding a little weaker.

"Because if not I'll let the rest of 127 know that you're bothering a member. They won't need to know why to defend Mark."

That seemed to be the tipping point. Jake shrugged off Yuta's arm. "I wouldn't have actually told anyone, anyway," he mumbled. "Goodbye, Mark." He turned around and walked away without waiting for an answer.

Mark let out a breath of relief.

"Sorry for getting involved," Yuta said. "But we couldn't just watch."

Mark shook his head. "No...thank you." He let out a deep breath. "Do you think I should tell the others?"

"Only if you're ready," Johnny said. "But I think you'll be surprised by their reactions. Yuta and I can defend you if need be."

Yuta nodded.

"Thank you, guys," Mark said. He smiled softly. "I won’t do it today, but... maybe soon."

Yuta nodded. "Maybe soon," he echoed.

"Shall we go back?" Mark asked. "The others will wonder."

Johnny nodded and turned back towards the house. Mark exchanged one more smile with Yuta before following, sure that Jake wouldn't be showing his face again..

It's not how he wanted to come out to two of his friends, but he's glad it happened.


End file.
